John Gunter

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My thoughts on singleness (a series…)

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Me (with Craig Clarke) at the Sunken Road from the Battle of Fredericksburg. . .
Me (with Craig Clarke last summer) at the Sunken Road from the Battle of Fredericksburg. . .

Table of Contents for this series on singleness:

(Explanation and overview of this series follows this list of contents)

Recently, Ruthie Dean asked me to write an article for her blog on the subject of singleness. I was honored, as her blog is exceptional. Additionally, it is a subject I have thought about often. This is probably obvious from the simple truth that I AM single and have been for quite a while. As a result, I had been meaning to write on the subject of singleness since I started this blog 9 months ago. However, it took Ruthie’s request to write for her blog to finally get me started.

So, what began as an article for Ruthie Dean and now evolved into an entire, ongoing series on singleness.  I don’t proclaim to be an expert on the subject, just a guy who has had a LOT of practice at being single.

I know that many people who read my blog are married. Actually, most people who read this blog are married. If that is the case, I hope marrieds can benefit from this series in three ways.

  1. Life and laughter – I hope that whether you are single or married, much of what I talk about will be equally applicable. To say it will be about singleness is a bit of a misnomer. This series will be about life. Given that I am an old bachelor, my angle will be from that of the vantage point of singleness. Also, I hope that some of it will be funny for all of us, if nothing else, humorously awkward.
  2. Understanding and ministry – Singles are increasing in number around the world. Did you know that for the first time in America history there are more single adults than marrieds? People are getting married older than ever in America. Divorce is a norm in society. Never marrieds are also increasing. Your churches, neighborhoods, places of work, and even your families will be increasingly populated with single adults. Hopefully reading this series will help you understand and relate to this growing population.
  3. Your future family – If you don’t already, you most likely will have children one day. Eventually, they will be single, at one time or another, in their adult lives. Hopefully, this series will be helpful for you in this way.
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Comments

  1. Jane Lipsey says

    Looking forward to your new blogs on singleness. Since I have been married for 50yrs it will be interesting to see what you have to say. I always enjoy all your articles and I am sure this one will be fascinating!! Hugs!!!

  2. Tom Petty says

    John
    I really enjoy reading your blog. You are tremendously talented. I recently came across this site which might interest you. You may be at the beginning of something big. We met in Chattanooga at the FPC. Margaret and I were in France for 35 years.
    Blessings for the New Year.

    http://www.platformuniversity.com/

    Tom Petty

    • John Gunter says

      Hey Tom, I do remember you guys! Thanks for you encouragement on this blog and for letting e know about this other site. I’ll definitely check it out.

  4. Tatuu says

    Way to start the year…a series on singleness. Just what I have been thinking. I had two weeks Christmas break and I spent it with dear friends and family. I traveled across the country and it was fun. The time came for me to go back home…my apartment, where I live alone and I have had a hard time adjusting. Maybe I should get a cat…

    I can’t wait to read your thoughts on this subject.

    • John Gunter says

      Tatuu, thanks for your enthusiasm with this series. Hopefully it will be helpful for all of us. Yeah, the living alone thing is pretty rough at times. I’m a pretty big extravert, so I really don’t like the silence that comes from living along.

  7. Seth says

    Hi! Nice series…just wanted to let you know about a typo:
    “Given that I am an old bachelor, my ***angel*** will be from that of the vantage point of singleness.” (should be angle).

    You don’t need to publish this comment 🙂

    In our Lord Jesus,

    Seth

    • John Gunter says

      Hey Seth, I really appreciate your input here. Honestly, there are tons of typos in this blog if you start to look for them. I’m trying to improve as a writer, but I am an AWFUL editor. My sister always makes fun of me for this.

      I appreciate you correction here and please do so whenever you see something that I have missed like this.

      Thanks brother!

  8. Ave says

    You are really brave to write this series! In my 20s I was so ashamed to be single and I always hoped, that people would not ask whether i was single or did i have a boyfriend. When i turned 30, i realized, that i have thought, that it is kind of ok to be single in your twenties, you could always excuse yourself, that you are still studying (although i haven’t finished my studies even now and i actually think, that studies do not hinder creating a family, it never was the real reason), but it is a real catastrophe to turn 30 and still be single. Now in my thirties I’m learning to live with it. I’m learning to be brave and even talk about singleness, learning to admit that i’m single. But it has required a lot of courage from me, in the beginning it was really hard.

  9. Alison Lam (@AlisonJoyful) says

    I happened upon your website through the Life Overseas community where you have just written a guest post. It’s definitely a female-saturated blogging world, so I just wanted to say how refreshing it is to hear a guy write on the topic of singleness (but also on the topic of loneliness). What an invitation you have to come into a deep communion with Christ in this season of your life. May you find hidden treasures on this path. Bless you muchly.

  10. Joy says

    I also found your website through A Life Overseas and just wanted to thank you for writing this series on singleness. I am 32 and have also lived practically my whole adult life overseas and have struggled with so many of the things you wrote about. Thank you for the encouragement and truth you shared.

    • John Gunter says

      Thanks, Michelle, for letting me know you are reading and enjoy some of the articles!

      Have a great day and I appreciate your encouragement here.

  11. Vari says

    Stumbled upon your blog through Ruthie Dean’s site.

    As a single living in a foreign country (from Asia living in Sydney Australia) it was interesting reading your perspectives on being single and about life in Asia in general.

    Bet you must have heard this before, still felt like mentioning it: When you feel you are the only person in this world without a mate, remember Elijah’s cry in 1 Kings 19:14 “….and I, even I only, am left;…..” which of course wasn’t true because there were 7000 who hadn’t worshipped Baal! You are not alone. Be encouraged 🙂

    • John Gunter says

      Vari, great point here with 1 Kings and in correlation to living abroad without a mate. Very good to see and think through.

      Ruthie is great. We got to know each other when she lived in Asia. Great blog!

      Thanks for reading this blog and sharing your thoughts!

  12. Alison Canty says

    Hi John,
    I am new to your blog and can relate to being lonely as a single. I am 41 and also live in Los Angeles. I find Los Angeles to be one of the loneliest places I’ve ever lived. I enjoyed reading your article on Ruthie’s blog. It’s nice to get a man’s perspective on being single, too, because there is so much written for single Christian women. I am originally from Houston and really love the south and L.A. is so different. Anyway, thanks.

  13. Darlene says

    I was married 31 years and he decided to walk out two years ago . So yes I get the single and lonely . It’s only been two years. I enjoyed reading your blog . A lot to be learned so many forget love is not only words it has to be shown . I am and a full believer in that . I just want to be wanted and loved again but my how this world has changed and I haven’t . I still the good one that’s got harden her heart . I live on old rules honest , faithful , loyal , and never forget were you came from God made us all . We accept everything never take anything for granted because it’s all in our book of life just as he planned it . So as a Christian I soul believe everything happens for a reason we have to accept it and pray God helps us through it all as single more than every .

Trackbacks

  6. […] To read an overview and previous posts from the series, please check out: https://johngunter.com/singleness-overview/ […]

  10. […] Through this blog I write, I have come across many others who are doing other sites similar to this one.  One such lady is Erin Szczerba who writes on this excellent blog.  Erin asked me to consider doing a Q&A for her blog.  What I didn’t know was that it was ACTUALLY a live broadcast radio show based in Denver, CO and I was the special guest “expert” on issues of singleness. […]

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