Purpose Archives - Page 4 of 7

4 “big picture” principles on living the single life well

April 11, 2013 by John Gunter

This post is from “My thoughts on singleness (a series. . .)” which I have been writing off and on, for the past three months. You can find the other articles in this series if you CLICK HERE.

Driving the Todd girls around. . . one of the families whom has opened their family to me. — Driving the Todd girls around. . . one of the families whom has opened their home to me.

There are entire sections in book stores on marriage. What does it mean? How to thrive within marriage? How to deal with marital conflict? Etc. . . .

However, I’m pretty sure no such sections exist for singleness. Cards on the table. . . I have never looked. Wish I could now, but being in Asia makes this type of practical research impossible.

It is with this motivation that I have been writing this series on singleness.

Yes, there is much difficult with being single. However, there are practices we can follow and habits that we can form to help us thrive, and not simple survive, within singleness.

Here are a few big-picture principles I have embraced in living my life which have helped guide my singleness.

1 – Serve the world around you with the energy of a family man (or woman)

One of the benefits of being a long-time bachelor is that I have had the opportunity to see many of my friends get married and have children. As I have observed, families take a ton of work! I really admire my friends who are great parents. There is no short-cut in parenthood. It is an exhausting, all-encompassing endeavor.

In my singleness, I have tried to be equally committed to my calling, with as much effort, passion, and commitment as my friends with children exert. Their lives are 120% about serving their worlds around them (their kids; if they are good parents), so why should mine be any different?

In marriage, as in singleness, we are called to give our lives to the world around us. For marrieds, this is obvious where your priorities are lie. With singles, our priorities are not as obvious, but

[Read more…]

2 encounters; 4 life values gained

March 18, 2013 by John Gunter

As I wrote a few weeks ago, Howard Hendricks has now passed into eternity. Most do not know his name; however, I will never be the same from my two encounters with him.

Some of my purpose in writing this blog is to simply process life and think through important values in a more intentional way. This is one of those cases.

Though I never met Howard Hendricks personally, he has helped form several of my most valued life priorities.

“Leadership with a purpose”

From early on, I seemed to demonstrate qualities and characteristics of leadership. It had mainly been demonstrated in athletics and academics up until that point. I enjoyed leadership. As a young follower of Christ Jesus, Howard Hendricks taught me the value of “leadership with a purpose”.

I completed his series of lectures on the topic and had a vision for being a part of leadership within the church of Christ. He gave me a heart to impact the world around me with the Gospel, not merely cash leadership in for selfish gain.

Howard Hendricks gave me a vision for behind the scenes leadership and its massive value. In this world of celebrity Christian leaders, Howard Hendricks was content to be in the background, building [Read more…]

The blessings and joy of singleness

March 4, 2013 by John Gunter

This journey of writing about singleness continues. . .

One of the trips I reference towards the end of this article. . . a random camel herder and I in the Arabian Desert a few years ago.

When is the last time you read something with a title like, “The blessings and joy of singleness”?!?!?!

Much has been written about the pains and problems of being single. It’s everywhere in the media. Many TV shows, if you think about it, have either primary or secondary themes of singles on the never ending pursuit of finding their purpose and meaning in life, i.e. their spouse. Singleness is portrayed as a necessary evil, a holding pattern, until life FINALLY begins at the marriage alter (or at least at the “happily committed in a stable relationship” stage). You find your partner, ride off into the sunset of contented, relational bliss, and. . . roll the credits.

However, there are great aspects of being single. There really are! I promise. For those of us who are Christians, the Bible is clear that there is great purpose, and even in some cases preference, in remaining single.

The main text in the Bible on this subject is 1 Corinthians 7:32-34.

The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.

Paul talks clearly here about the advantages of being single. His main point is that in not having “divided interests” we are free to simply think about Christ and the values of His kingdom. I know this is a difficult perspective to maintain in the midst of the trials of singleness, but it is true.

Along these lines, here are some of the reasons I am content in, and even grateful for, my singleness.

Serving the world around me in a special ways: I honestly love being used in a way that builds others up in their faith and/or just makes their lives more pleasant in general. I think we are all this way. Whether it is coaching little baseball (as I did as a single before moving to Asia) or being able to get out of bed and help dear friends (Michael and Beth Gregory) with their injured dog (as was the case with the venerable Albus), I love being able [Read more…]

The process of purposeful pain (and sacrifice)

February 27, 2013 by John Gunter

Michael, Alex, Tyler, and I in our gym. . .the guy on the right is Alex's brother. — Michael, Alex, Tyler, and I in our gym. . .the guy on the right is Alex’s brother, Mikey.

It was 3:30am last night when it happened. The previous night it was around 2:45am. As for now, even as stand up from this chair for a break, it happens again and again and again. Curious? Well, I started back working out five days ago. After four months of complete and total physical lethargy, I am back crushing my body so that it might live. Right now, even the most basic of movements makes me question my will to live. I’m only partially speaking in hyperbole. I am hurting.

Since November, I have traveled a lot, eaten more (mainly disgusting food you eat when living out of a suitcase), and exercised almost none. The result . . . eight pounds gained and general physical malaise in every way. I knew it was time to get back on the horse, but I was just slow to mount. Thankfully, an old friend moved back to town who makes it his business to destroy his friends for their good.

Alex Detmering is a university English teacher by day and a professional trainer by night (he is a physical trainer in America). Michael Gregory, Tyler Leuck, and I are the willing victims of Alex’s torturous workout regimens and the recipients of his motivational yelling of statements like “do it!” and “butt down, heads up!” and “go outside to puke!”.

As I woke up this morning and did something that I have never done before in my life (popped an Advil prior to breakfast), I questioned my desire to keep submitting to Alex and his brutal ways of getting my softening body back into fighting shape. “Why do I do this?” dominated by thoughts as I limped over, with the gracefulness of a wounded rhino, to brush my teeth.

The answer is easy; [Read more…]

Grateful for the influence of a man I never met (Howard Hendricks)

February 21, 2013 by John Gunter

Isn’t it strange that we live in a day where we can have people deeply impact our lives on a personal level without ever having met them? I could rattle off a sizable list of men and women whom have helped mold and shape my world view, even my personality, whom I have never met. This morning, I am thinking about one such man.

Howard Hendricks from the DTS websits. . .

I woke up this morning only to see on Twitter that Howard Hendricks passed away in America while I was asleep in Asia.

Howard Hendricks was introduced to me by my campus ministers at Georgia Tech, Howie Espenshied and Danny McKinney. My faith was new and untested, yet my passion and zeal was rocket ship high. Howie or Danny, I can’t remember which one, gave me a set of tapes on leadership by Dr. Howard Hendricks. He was a professor at Dallas Theological Seminary and was a major influence on large a number of the top Christian leaders from the past 50 years.

I inhaled that series of 4-5 lectures on leadership. From that time, I learned two values that have permanently changed