Today, 17 years ago, my life was drastically altered. Though life has moved on, my life has never been the same.
Philip Andrew Clarke was everything a best friend should be. Fun to be around. A man of extraordinary character. Smart. Loyal. An incredible sense of humor. Genuinely caring, especially for a college student of 22 years old. He was a committed friend, loyal as the day is long, and a joy to do life with.
Phil was my roommate. Phil, Troy Coons, Phil Autry, and I formed a common bond over a new-found faith in Christ and a mutual deep commitment to growing as Christian men. We wanted to be men of character. We wanted to be men of impact. Through these mutual commitments and desires, we were drawn together. Through this, we formed a ministry that reached out to the entire Greek system at Georgia Tech, though we only represented three of the 32 fraternities.
Looking back, I now see that this common goal, this common desire to grow in Christ and reach out to those around us formed the bonds of friendship that would last a lifetime.
On the morning of December 7, 1995, Phil went hunting for the first time in his life with three of my other close friends, including David Moon and Eugene Kim. Tragedy struck. Phil was accidentally shot and he instantly graduated to heaven and the embrace of the Savior whom Phil so longed to serve and honor in this life.
It’s been 17 years, yet as I type this it as if it were yesterday. My heart is heavy in my chest and tears are building in the corners of my eyes just thinking about it. It was 17 years ago today, yet the emotions are still present, strong, and genuinely heartfelt.
I can not begin to put into words all the thoughts and emotions which flood my mind and heart when I think of Phil and our friendship.
Phil in his brief life taught me so much. He taught me about integrity and the value of Godly, pure fun. He taught me about commitment to Christ in every aspect of life.
Above all else, though, Phil Clarke taught me about the absolute value of friendship. Friendship which is anchored in Christ Jesus. Friendship which is mutually committed to growth, development, and serving the world around with the love and message of the Gospel of Christ Jesus. Friendship that not only is full of laughter and levity, but also filled with purpose and eternal focus. Since that day, I have never settled for anything less. Phil through his example in life and friendship taught me this. . . and I will be eternally grateful.
Phil had a powerful effect on many, many people. It is impossible to quantify the impact made upon this world by his brief life. I still hear random stories from people that were impacted by Phil Clarke in big and small ways.
As for me, Troy Coons, Phil Autry, and many of the other men and women close to Phil Clarke during his 22 years on earth, we were deeply impacted. I carry all I learned from Phil with me everywhere I go. It sounds trite and a bit cliché, but it is true. Maybe it’s not always conscious, but the lessons I learned from Phil Clarke on life, friendship, and valuing Christ and His call above all else are an inseparable part of my being.
Therefore, on this day, December 7, 2012, I am both mourning and celebrating. I am mourning the death of a friend whom I still miss to the point of tears on this day. I wish he were around to call and check in on life. Just as was the case when he were here with us, I still take myself too seriously. I would give anything to have Phil bring me back to reality through the joy of his humor, laughter, and steadfast, loyal friendship right now.
However, on this day 17 years after the most difficult night of my life, I am also celebrating. I cannot imagine my life without the memory and impact of my friendship with Philip Andrew Clarke. Phil, in his life and through his death, taught me how to take my calling as a child of Christ seriously, but always be able to enjoy life, laughter, and the simply joys of living.
For this reason, on this day of December 7, 2012, 17 years to the day after my friend and brother in Christ departed this earth and moved into eternity, I am able to both weep and celebrate.
I weep over the temporal pain of missing the presence of this friend of mine. Yet, I celebrate the joyous memory of Philip Andrew Clarke and the lifetime of impact his friendship has had and will always have upon me.
(The next post I wrote on Phil is “A life well-lived“. In addition, see 3 invaluable life lessons from the death of a best friend , The moment Tracey and Phil met and The vitality of “leaning into pain” on further thoughts Phil and his death.)
I will never forget the phone call from Jay, telling me about his brother Philip’s tragic death. I will never forget the palpable presence of the Holy Spirit in a memorial service filled with simple, profound testimonies, with Phil’s fraternity brothers and classmates stunned to ponder the only realities that will matter forever. I will always be grateful for the impact of Philip’s short but significant life on the expansion of the gospel of Christ and God’s kingdom.
Al, thanks for adding this. It’s been a good day for me in remembering and celebrating Phil’s life. You were a big part of Phil’s story, as you are such a big part of my own as well. God bless and look forward to getting a meal with you one of these days!
That funeral had a huge impact on me. Unforgettable how God used Phil in such a short time, and the celebration of his life that was evident.
Yeah, it was absolutely one of the best/worst days of my life. Very powerful and the worship was as genuine as anything I had ever experienced. However, we were all crushed at the same time. It really is cool you were there!
WOW, John ~ what a beautiful tribute. Tears welling. I did not know Phil, but Carol is a friend, and now many years later…know his best friend through my daughter, Meg. Small world.
And speaking of small worlds ~ as I was reading this…I could not help but think of: “…since we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses,” and how VERY, VERY, VERY PROUD PHIL must be of you, John.
Keep up the GOOD WORK and FIGHTING the GOOD FIGHT ~ Phil is cheering you on!!!
Grace, peace, and all God’s blessings,
Becky T.
Mrs. Terry, that is great that you and Mrs. Clarke are friends. I’m actually about to call her, as I do every year on this date.
Thanks for the encouraging words. . . really appreciate it!
I didn’t know Phil Clark personally, but I did know you, Autry, and Troy very well. It is often said that we stand on the shoulders of the giants that go before us, and I can truly say that I stand today on the giants that went before me and the lives they lived. John…you have always been a good friend and your life is a testament to what the Holy Spirit does when he captures the souls of men. By the way, I still use your little Bible you gave to me in Sarajevo and I read the note weekly.
Chris, thanks a ton for your kind words. Man, I hope life crosses our paths again one of these days. I really enjoyed the times we were together, though I wish it were more. Again, thanks for words. . . really encouraging and means a ton to me!
I think of Phil from time to time too. What a sad day that was – but the funeral was uplifting and he was a genuinely great guy. Well said John.
Thanks for the comment. . . agree with everything. Great hearing from you!
What an amazing tribute to your friend. I’m glad to have read it thank you.
Thanks for letting me know!
It is not the quantity of life we live that counts but the quality. Many great saints lived short earthly lives: David Brainerd, Robert Murray McCheyne, Jim Elliott. I look forward to meeting this brother when I walk through the gates of heaven.
Mike, thanks for the thoughts here. All incredible examples and fun to think about in regards to Phil!
I am thankful for Phil’s life. It’s a great story of redemption.
Yep. . . glad we were all there together during that time period. Thanks for all your work at Tech in the years following!
I too remember that time from a further distance, the amazing way God was in his memorial service and how his life and death impacted so many of you at Tech and all of us as observers. What a great tribute this is to be reminded of his walk and the impact he had on your life
Thanks Carol. . . I agree. I think I mainly going to just publish my eulogy from the funeral on Monday, the anniversary of that time. It was a powerful day and one I will never forget. Great hearing from you. . . hope you are well!
I will never forget that day. It is crystal clear in my mind. John, you and Phil, Phil Autry and Troy held a very special place in Howie’s heart. I’ll never forget you all coming to dinner at our house and claiming that you had practically driven to Tennessee! That is a sweet memory. Also, you all coming to the hospital when Ace was born and giving him the Willie Mays baseball card. That touched both of us so much. You all will always hold such a special place in our hearts. Phil had an incredible impact in his short life and is still missed today.
Dina, you guys have always meant a lot to all of us also. Troy and I were just talking about you guys the other day and what a blessing you were for us in college. Thanks for the comments and look forward to catching up one of these days!
Thank you for sharing. Reading about Phil’s impact on you and others was an inspiration and encouragement to me.
Blessings during this holiday season.
Thanks Patricia…God bless!
I don’t know you, but I did know Phil. I was on that summer mission trip to Yellowstone with Phil and Troy – we are all in a small group together, and named ourselves “The Four Horsemen.” Even though my personal experience of Phil was just a short summer, he made an indelible impact on my life and heart. Thanks for this.
Yeah Chris, I remember hearing about you guys…thanks for the comment!
“It’s been 17 years, yet as I type this it as if it were yesterday.”
Yes indeed–I still remember that day (and the weeks that followed) so vividly, down to the details. Like you, 17 years later I also experience mourning and celebration. As I read your post, I am also reminded of how much that hurt (and still hurts), and how much I/we all miss him. At the same time, it is amazing how God used Phil’s life–and continues to use Phil’s legacy–to influence so many people for His glory.
Phil
So much of what is going on in all of our lives would make him so excited. I’m certain he would roll laughing about and think that your job is coolest in the world. Seriously, he would love you doing what you are doing.
This has been fun to see everyone’s words on Phil. . . I’ll post some thoughts on the funeral and the eulolgy I delivered that day on Monday night (in the States).