John Gunter

Thoughts on Life and Living

Listening to God in the midst of discouragement

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This article is a continuation of the one I posted last week, “Fear only talks to those who listen”.  If you have not read that one, please CLICK HERE.

I took this during my last trip to Thailand
I took this during my last trip to Thailand

Recently, I was talking with a close local Asian Christian brother.  He lives in a different city than I do, yet we see each other fairly often.  We met for coffee and to talk about life and work.

My friend is a man of courage and integrity.  He is a great father and husband.  He is intelligent and a graduate of one of the best universities in this country.  He is a man who is doing amazing work in serving and helping many people through the love and message of the Gospel of Christ Jesus.

My friend’s impact is far and wide.  I’m not speaking in hyperbole here; he really is a man of incredible integrity and impact on a very large scale.

My friend, though, is very discouraged.  There was actually no need to share this with me, as I could see it in his eyes as we interacted in a meeting of peers earlier in the week.

As a result of several stresses converging upon him at the same time, discouragement has set upon him like a lead x-ray vest (yes, I have been injured far too many times if this is the word picture that comes to mind!).  This discouragement has caused him to doubt himself, his calling, and some of the great works he has started which are legitimately helping many people in many ways. 

As I was thinking about fear last week (click here for the article), this conversation has me thinking about discouragement in much the same way.  As is the case with fear, discouragement grips us all from time to time.  Though I feel empathy for my friend who is currently stuck in this season of discouragement, this is not what concerned me most about our conversation.

I am most concerned that my friend is now allowing his discouragement [Read more…]

“Fear only talks to those who listen”- the nonsensical nature of fear

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Subway riding, music by Leagues, and thoughts on fear. . .
Subway riding, music by Leagues, and thoughts on fear. . .

Riding on the subway this morning, I was listening to a new album which I recently downloaded.  As strange as it sounds, I often have some of my most relaxing and thought provoking times while listening to music, by myself, and in public transportation scenarios.  This time was no different.

A line from the song “Friendly Fire” by Leagues caught my attention.

“Fear only talks to those who listen”

This line stopped me dead in the midst of my fluttering thoughts and prayers, as the train raced through the black of the underground tunnel we were in.  The issue of fear has been on my mind since that moment.

Fear is a part of all of our lives.  We learn it early.  It can be good.  It keeps us from running out in the middle of traffic or from touching a hot stove.  Sometimes fear is good, but most of the time it is toxic.

Fear cripples us from moving out in faith and in life.  It keeps us from making career moves that would be a better fit, both for ourselves and the world around us.  Fear keeps us from having conversations with loved ones that we know we need to have.  Fear keeps us from taking needed risks in order

[Read more…]

The eternal value of my recent Thailand vacation

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Ryan and I heading out to a dive site. . .
Ryan and I heading out to a dive site. . .

As I wrote about earlier in the week, I just completed a much needed vacation.  If you have not already, you might want to read it first (CLICK HERE).  Since I wrote about the “superficial” reasons I loved my vacation in general, and Koh Lanta, Thailand specifically in my last post, I am going to more focus one some of the more “significant” elements for which I am grateful from this time.

I am grateful for my friends. . . I’ve written frequently about friendship and its absolute necessity in my life on this blog.  This vacation only further allowed me to appreciate my friends and the role they play in my life.

Ryan Sweeney and I graduated college together.  As the Lord would have it, both of us ended up in Asia as professionals.  Ryan runs a factory in Xiamen, China, so we live a long way from each other.  Close relative to my friends in America, but still a decent plane trip away from here.

I first asked Ryan if he wanted to join me at Koh Lanta, Thailand for a week of diving, beaches, and food.  He agreed, and we were off.  That is really all I NEEDED . . . one good friend with whom to travel.

Then Travis & Sonya Todd (along with their four girls) jumped in.  Followed by Rush and Meredith Stuart (and Baby Jack!).  Then some new friends, Ty Nash, Conner Norton, and Amanda Robinson came aboard.  All told, we ended up having 20+ people I knew from around Asia that all converge on this tiny island in the Andaman Sea for a week of R&R.

It was wonderful having so many people there to do everything from eat dinner on the beach to snorkel to play volleyball to everything in between.  It was a blessing having such a large community to vacation with these past 10 days, especially since I live alone I LOVE being with others.  Time with friends, both old and new, was a definite highlight of my vacation.

I am grateful for the change of pace. . .  Honestly, my life in Asia can be quite stressful.  I put in far too many hours, in conditions which are always dynamic and often challenging beyond my [Read more…]

A case for transparency in relationships

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A few weeks ago, I wrote “The poison of bitterness and the antidote of transparency. . .” This is a follow-up to that post, so you might want to read that one before this one.

Some of the men I have been friends with here in Asia (Hughes Lowman, Scott Littlepage, and Chris Musgrove (with Maddox)
Some of the men I have been friends with here in Asia (Hughes Lowman, Scott Littlepage, and Chris Musgrove (with Maddox)

Transparency with others is work. It is awkward and, in some senses, humiliating. We spend the bulk of our lives trying to eliminate weakness from our lives. I know I do.

However, as is often the case, the Bible points us in directions which are counter to our human nature, but towards ultimate purpose, joy, community, and fulfillment. This area of transparency in sin and internal bitterness is one such area.

We see this in James 5:16.

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”

In bringing your sin into the light with trusted friends, we are literally healed. I don’t understand everything about this, but I have found it to be true in every situation I have seen, both with me personally and in others around me.

Personally, I have found three immediate benefits to verbally expressing areas of sin and/or personal stress (like loneliness or anger) to those closest to me.

  1. Sin and bitterness, when confessed, loses its power/intensity, or at least is [Read more…]

Heartbreak and the goodness of God

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(This post is from my series called “My thoughts on singleness (a series. . .)“. To read an overview of the series and for other posts in this series, please click here.)

Picture of the Istanbul sunset while I was there two years ago
Picture of the Istanbul sunset while I was there two years ago

As we walked through a park in an unfamiliar city, it was a clear day. She jumped right into what was on her mind. “I don’t know what the deal is. I have prayed to have the same feelings for you that you have for me. I really care for you and want to love you, but I just don’t.” Just like that, our relationship was over.

She had been the girl of my dreams, as we had dated on and off for four years. I couldn’t image a future without her in my life. My heart felt like pins were being jabbed into my chest. My breathing literally changed. I became light headed. [Read more…]

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