In the midst of my time with family, rest, and taking care of life in America, I have pulled back from writing on my blog for this season. However, I have been able to contribute articles to a few other websites on topics I am passion about AND I was even honored to be the guest on a Denver based talk radio show. Strange, I know.
Through this blog I write, I have come across many others who are doing other sites similar to this one. One such lady is Erin Szczerba who writes on this excellent blog. Erin asked me to consider doing a Q&A for her blog. What I didn’t know was that it was ACTUALLY a live broadcast radio show based in Denver, CO and I was the special guest “expert” on issues of singleness.
So, with very little understanding of the scale and scope of the project, I agreed. Honestly, as I think about some of my answers I gave on these two shows, I probably disagree with a few. Oh well.
In the midst of my writing silence on this site (johngunter.com), I thought I would share this radio interview. Here are three of the clips from this time:
- Part 1: Single Mom Asks Single Guy About Dating & Women
- Part 2: Men & Women Can’t Be Friends?
- Bonus: Are Men Really Interested in Only One Thing?
Honestly, the Part 1 show was pretty rough. We (actually me) became much more comfortable in the interview format for the second show.
ALSO, I have written and published a few other articles on various sites these past few months. Here are a few of these articles:
- The Inevitable Pain of Loneliness – this is on a site for people living and serving God overseas
- 10 times when being single stinks – this site is relationship focused
- Listening to God in the midst of discouragement – this site focuses on all aspects of walking with Christ and in relationships
All of these sites are excellent and worth checking out.
Update on My Life
My time in America continues to go well. I am resting and FINALLY starting to feel healthy again, after several months of chest coughs and torn ligaments in my ankle. Time with family has been wonderful and I am STILL putting much sweat equity into my house in Atlanta.
All this to say, I still feel a strong need to focus on life, rest, and family time. Additionally, I am going to spend most of the next two months working towards my FINAL completion of seminary. I began part-time work on this degree in August 2004. I’m now hoping to complete this degree in a mere 11 years, by 2015!
So, I am going to jump back into writing in late August. I will check in on this blog for comments and might even post a few pictures from now until then, but I am not going to post full articles again until late August.
Thanks for caring about my life and for your friendship . . . it really does mean much to me! I really am looking forward to jumping back into writing! However, I just feel a strong need to focus these next two months on life, school, family, and physical/spiritual recuperation after seven straight years of intense life and service in Asia.
Have a great remainder of the summer and I look forward to jumping back on this blog on a regular basis in the fall and beyond!
(If interested, I have an ongoing series on singleness creatively named My thoughts on singleness (a series. . . ). Please CLICK HERE if you would like to see the list of articles and overview of the series.)
Hey John! So glad to have an update from you and happy to know you are getting lots of R & R. Would love to know which answers you disagree with. 🙂 Maybe someday we can have another conversation about it.
Hahaha. . . thanks Erin! I’ve actually been rethinking the whole “can men and women be friends” thing. Bottom line, I think that just because it hasn’t really worked for me, doesn’t me it is doomed to fail. However, I do think that the numbers are not good in a success rate.
We need to do it again in a few months when I have more time to think AND I am FINALLY rested and feeling like myself again!
Is it weird that I downloaded all 3 audioclips to listen to while running?
Yes.
Great to read an update, John.
Where are you completing your seminary degree?
I actually wondered about some of your answers too, you are quite transparent I think I knew where you were coming from after reading your series on singleness. My opinion on the gal/guy friendship thing is this: (I know you are dying to know what I think/experience)
I have several single men as friends, though in recent years I have noticed that it has become a bit more precarious, requiring conscious navigation. The men who are in my life are precious gifts to me, I deeply value their strength, perspective and opinions. They bring a balancing affect to my single female brain and life. That being said, I can’t and avoid spending excessive and regular time with them unless (obviously) they have clearly expressed deeper intentions. Regular is the key term: I do spend good quality time with male friends but not regular – regular would equal every day or weekly, it’s more sporadic.
The conversations we enjoy are indeed rich, deep and appreciated, but “time = intimacy”; Our hearts are similar to a secret garden, there are levels of intimacy (knowing); the center and most intimate areas are reserved for only one person. Others can come around, even close to that area but it is my job to watch that the fence and gate is looked after and used appropriately.
So, yes, there is a level of friendship that can be shared, given and received. I believe men and women give each other things we would never experience alone, even as singles. One must grow in knowing your own sacred spaces, time and desires to walk in healthy relationships.
From one who has at times not done this so well, and is still learning, hopefully wiser today than I was yesterday!
Tammie
Tammie, as always, great wisdom here.
Yeah, I kind of regretted making that comment in this interview. It has not worked well for me personally, but that does not mean this is the case universally. With wisdom and discretion like you have outlined here, I can see where men/women friendship can work out. Unfortunately, I have not been as wise as you in the past! Maybe I can learn.
Hope you are well. Great hearing from you!
John… sometimes wisdom is learned through mistakes… or at least, I hope I can walk in greater wisdom. I have had made my fair share of mistakes. I am way too transparent myself; though it has usually been advantageous.
From one who has had a lot of pruning…
Blessings!
Tammie
Hey John. I am glad you are getting some rest and have some time to work on your house, spend time with family and friends, and finish your degree (that is awesome). I am still plugging away on mine (different degree than yours), as well. Enjoy Atlanta…I miss Highland Bakery. I will try and listen to the clips soon. Take care, Stephanie
Thanks Stephanie. . . I have to admit, I have been gone from Atlanta so long that I don’t even know what the Highland Bakery is! I assume it is in Virginia-Highland, so I’ll have to check it out. Thanks for the intel!
Have a great summer!
I enjoyed all of your articles, especially the list of times when being single stinks. Long, international flights are definitely not fun as a single, especially when something funny happens, and you don’t have anyone to laugh with about it.
I completely agree. Many, many times I will think, “man, I wish someone was here to see that!”
Thanks for your thoughts on this, Laura!
Just wanted to say I really like reading your blog & can identify with a some of the issues you write about. Singleness can really suck big time, I’m glad i have a sibling to share my thoughts with, I find having family helps. You hit the nail on the head in your articles and give good strategies for dealing with it.
–On long international flights I just sleep through the whole thing lol (and dream im in first class not economy).
I find the men/women friendship thing also difficult to navigate sometimes because although you know what you think/what your intentions are, you don’t know what the other person is thinking.
I’ve also taken time off my blog–i took a whole year off, but now I’m re-energized and posting again!
miss yojo
Utterly raw and authentic, it has brought me to joyful tears.
I thank God for you, a faithful follower.
Nancy
Thanks Nancy; I sincerely appreciate you reading and letting me know it has been edifying. God bless!