This morning was pretty good. It was the first day of college football and my school won. Though it’s hard to get too excited about a victory over mighty Elon College, you take what you can when you are from Georgia Tech.
I was feeling pretty good and then it came. It was in the form of an email from my sister, Becky. It was for the purpose of pulling me into a celebration. My beautiful, smart, sweet, and overall wonderful niece, Anna, tried out for a community play house production of “Annie”. She would have been thrilled to get any part in the play, but was waylaid by exuberance upon hearing she has been selected to play the lead role of the red-headed orphan herself.
My joy in imagining Anna’s happiness was tangible, as I literally laughed aloud in the corner of this coffee house upon reading the email. However, my euphoria for Anna quickly shifted to the pain of missing being there for her celebratory pizza or sushi or however they choose to celebrate this big accomplishment. I can’t even imagine how big her smile is right now. Radiating, to say the least. Anna has a world-class smile.
I love my two nieces and six nephews more than I even know how to say. I remember when I was first out of college hearing friends talk glowingly about their siblings’ kids and I didn’t buy it. “They aren’t even your kids!” I would think to myself.
Then Becky and Betsy began having their own and I understood. When it came time to pack up and move to Asia, my oldest nephew, Stephen, was five. Now he is a senior in high school. During my moving to Asia in August 1999, only Kathryn, Will, and Timothy had joined him. Now there is a total of eight.
Not being in America to see them grow up is painful. It really is. Today this pain is acute.
So what do I do with this pain of missing my family from here in Asia? They seem so distant and I so absent. It’s not helpful to simply wallow in my sorrow and grown angry or bitter.
I don’t think it is perfect, but here is what I CAN DO on this day of missing my eight nieces and nephews, along with my life in America.
First, I can love them to the best of my ability while living abroad. In this case of missing Anna’s big news, I’m simply going to call her in a few hours when I know she will be up. I can’t replicate the joy of being there when she first found out, but at least I can hopefully add to the moment by my phone call from 12,000 miles away.
I can love those around me here, both the other foreigners like myself and the local Asians. I’m not great at this, but hopefully I can do the best I know how. Today I will share a little of my heart with them in opening up my home for a cookout. The menu will consist of potato chips and handmade hotdogs I bought frozen in a different city. I drove them back with the aid of a makeshift cooler in the backseat of my car in an attempt to keep them from spoiling. We will find out in the morning if it worked if stomachs pull through the night without crippling pain (or worse). I know it’s not much, but it’s the best this bachelor can pull together in short order.
More importantly, though, on this day of missing being present to celebrate with Anna, I can remember that all of this longing and pain is ultimately temporary. God’s economy is much different than our own. Thankfully, today as I grieve missing Anna and all of my family, I have been reminded of 2 Corinthians 4:16-18.
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen.
Here I am reminded that no matter the pain of missing, the rotting of physically illness and disease, the pangs of addiction, or the longings of unrequited love, it is all temporary. It is but a “momentary affliction” which will fade.
Christ is eternal and so is the Gospel to which I cling.
Yes, I am sad today for missing yet another important family event, but I am encouraged by this reality. Even the pain of missing others is temporary. I’ll have an eternity to celebrate this and every other wonderful, praise worthy event in the light of the person and work of Christ Jesus. . . for eternity.
In this reality, my pain can shift from sadness to that of praise. Though the pain is real, so is the praise.
(Anna, I love you. I am proud of you. I miss you. “Annie” is actually the first play I ever saw, so I am excited you will be playing her! Know that Uncle John is praying for and celebrating with you in the very East Asian home you visited three summers ago. I can’t wait to see the video when I am next back with you! . . . Love, Uncle John)
P.S. If you are interested in seeing a great play November 8-10, I suggest “Annie”.
I love you too Uncle John, and will for sure miss you at the play. I know you will be there in spirit, and we will make sure to video the play and watch it with you when you come home. Love you, Anna
Thanks Anna. . .great talking to you earlier this morning! Love you a ton and can’t wait to hear all about these next few months of “Annie”!
you capture the feelings so deeply that we too experienced being overseas even though for a brief time…it drive us to the hope of heaven in a strange way and realizing that our true home is in heaven. Still painful. Thanks for sharing.
Great point here. . . thanks for sharing your experience of overseas life.
I loved this blog!! There is nothing better than hearing about your family and anyone who has 2 nieces as pretty as yours, and 6 nephews as handsome as yours, should be proud!! Congrats to Anna on being Annie in the play, she will be adorable, I may take my GD and go see her. There is so much love in your family and it radiates in your writing, good job! Have a Great Week and Hugs to you!!!
Thanks Jane. . . let me know if you want to go so you can make sure and meet the rest of my family. I’m sure they will all be there!
Thanks for the sacrifices you are making for the furthering of the gospel. Your eternal perspective is spot on. I can’t even imagine the pain you feel. Family and loyalty are high up there for me—-missing that play would be brutal. Glad you see the bigger picture and keep that perspective before you.
Ali, thanks for your words here. Yeah, definitely the biggest “cost” in living over here is simply being gone for much of life for those you care most about. Thanks!
I think of this often…that missing family is a sacrifice you make (you’ve made) when you answered God’s call for you to be overseas long term. And yet, as you captured in your honesty, He promises and does meet you there…in your longings. He is sufficient. “It’s a hard-knocked life,” huh?! 🙂
Congrats to Anna!!
Thanks Amy. Love the reference there at the end! Thanks. . .
Dear Anna,
First of all, congratulations for being selected to play the lead role in the play. That’s really big and I am excited for you. Go for it and break a leg (even several legs, why not).
I can already feel that you are going to do extremely well in that play and I join Uncle John in grieving the fact that I also will not be able to see it (I’m in Africa) but pray, would you let us know if it will be available online?
I am going to bet a few dollars that Uncle John, by the thought of missing you, the play and all of your cousins, shed some few tears. Well, there is no one to prove it but I guess he will be kind enough to confess it here. 😀 He really loves you, no doubt about that.
We (particularly I) are looking forward to being updated on the play.
Hugs,
Tatuu
Thanks Tatuu!
Anna, my daughter Hannah still remembers how you were one of her sweet friends during her short stint at your school in the 4th grade. We didn’t know at the time that your uncle was the famous John Gunter. Congrats!
Thanks Jerry. . . I’ll make sure Anna sees this!
Hope you guys are well and school is off to a good start.
John, your heart is so evident in this post, thank you for being transparent with the rest of us. I feel challenged to make better use of all of the easy access to family and friends I enjoy in comparison with your logistical obstacles. Equally, I am again appreciative of the personal sacrifice you have made to advance the kingdom, and praying right now for your strength and comfort. Though you are halfway around the worldwide, I am embracing you right now.
Thank you very much, Scott. Your kind words are always grateful appreciated.
John, this should come as no surprise to you – that a “Gunter” is selected to sing ! One thing us Gunters are known for is our supreme ability at singing ! Also, you may be far away, but you really touched my son’s life in a positive way – at a time he really needed the support. Thank you so much.
P.S. If you wanna hear me sing, just call me sometime……
Curtis, no one wins when a Gunter sings. . . no one! Thankfully Anna either got Mom’s or Kevin’s genes on this one.
Miss you. Let’s talk soon!
What’s so great whenever one stops by your blog, John, is the praise and encouragement to be faithful to God’s calling…no matter where…no matter who…no matter what…full stop. Although missing the family events pains you and although your niece will miss your physical presence at her show, the greater, eternal gift you give your neice (as well as the other neices and nephews) is knowing that their uncle is a man who follows after God and who encourages others to do the same! Grace & peace, John! Praying for you…
Your Blog touched my heart. You will miss another very important family event on Friday. How I wish I could be with you on your Birthday. Know you are always in my thoughts and prayers and especially on your special day. You are missed more than I can put into words. I love you, Mom.
Thanks Mom. . . love you and miss you! Have a great week!